sunshine.

so you know that feeling you get when your in a good mood and you walk out of your house and the sunshine hits your face, and everything just feels so perfect and your at such peace with the world. well thats the feeling i get everytime he enters the room.

i have finllay realized that he is my sunshine, my moonlight. the bliss in my would. my everything.

what defines a whore?

dictionary.com defines a whore as ; a woman who engages in promiscuous sexual intercourse, usually for money; prostitute; harlot; strumpet.

ever since the beginning of my high school career ive been known as a " whore ". I've never thought of myself as one though. I can admit that i've had sex with 15 people. Does that make me a whore though? I enjoy having sex a lot. Every feeling i get from when that first kiss starts to the last one and the awkward moment after you have just finished and are putting your clothes back on. what gives people the right to call people whores and sluts? We all use that term so loosely. if guys can have sex with how many ever woman that they want to why can't i?

cant sleep.

i can never sleep at night, im always up thinking of everything. so many things run through my mind at night. the past, the present and the future. all my regrets flood my head, and my memories take over my thoughts. i than began to think of the present and how everything that i've done affects whats going on now. my mind than goes to the future and all the possbilities that it can have, the good and the bad. i try hard not to think, to just lay down close my eyes and sleep. for some reason i just cannot shut my mind off.

than again, when sleeping with someone i do fall asleep fast. i think its distraction, i need to find a distraction when im alone. or, just start sleeping with my boy everynight. which i love doing so much, but thats besides the point. i need to find a way to get to sleep faster, that way i don't sleep my whole day away. and so i can stop thinking of everything, stop worrying and stressing out over unchangable things and things that i have no control over. maybe one day..

nudes

tonight i went to a friends, there was four of us all girls. we all decided that we wanted to go walk around downtown we stopped in a burito place called boloco because i had to use the bathroom and ended up forgetting my phone there. earlier that day one of my friends had sent me one of her nudes and i put it as my background. when i finally realized where i had left my phone i went back into boloco. they were all giggling and laughing looking at my phone. they had all saw her nudes, the funny thing is she applied there the day before. now not only do they think that me and her are lovers, they also have seen her naked.

la vita e bella <3

i've never experinced pure happiness. i have always been the child who had problems, depression and anger and hatred towards the world. i was lost. he saved me, from myself from the world. hes brought me to such a wonderful place in my life. i feel as if i see the world as such a different place. life is beauitful. my eyes are open to the simple, pure things now. everything seems so beautiful to me. i find myself coming to tears as i write this. ive never cried because of happiness before. i am filled with joy. i've never felt this way, i have such a hard time discribing my feelings. my whole body and mind seems to be in peace at this very moment. i don't ever want this feeling to go away. i have him to thank for opening my world up. i start to think, and start to feel scared knowing theres a chance this could fade away. i finally know what its like to be happy, and i have him to thank.

tonight we laid under the stars. we talked about us, and everything we felt. he told me he loved me. as crazy as it seems after being together for less than a month. is it possible? could he really feel this for me? i know that my feelings for him are strong. i menchond in my previous post that i thought i loved him. i now know, i am in love. hes perfect, treats me like a queen. he gives me the greatest feeligns in the world. i've never had a night like tonight. no boy has ever made me feel this way. no boys ever done anything as sweet as he has. hes differnt and im so glad hes mine.

my first crush

i think i have a crush, my first crush on a girl. shes my friend, and i find myself thinking of her. i've told her and everyone we know including her boy how much id love to fuck her. I think shes beautiful and such a down to earth sweet girl. I find myself thinking of all the dirty things id love to do to her. I've always had a thing for girls, checking them out and wanting them. Just never found myself actually crushing on one.

mi manchi ;

this cannot be healthy. missing my boy when hes not with me, i feel lost without him. i yearn to just touch him, and for his laugh. I'm with him so much that when were away from each other i don't know what to do with myself. tonight will be the first night i wont be able to talk to him. hes gone to a friends where he doesn't get any service. I'm wondering what its going to be like when the sun goes down, and the moon comes out and I'm laying in bed. there will be no goodnight baby. i need a hobby.

gerfaunt ; also known as

i want to meet a giraffe.

amore

The difference between loving someone and being in love with them. Huge difference right? How do you determine whether or not your in love? I've been thinking this a lot lately. I feel very strong for this boy. I've only known him for about two months now, so is it possible? He means so much to me, and makes me happier than I've ever been. I care about him deeply, and would do almost anything to make him happy. His happiness is the world to me. I can't begin to describe my feelings for him, or what i get like when I'm around him. I'm not sure if I'm just in what they call the " honeymoon " stage of our relationship or not.

We've talked about our feelings towards one another and realized we both feel the same way. We think exactly alike for a matter of fact. Were always saying what each other thinks, saying things at the exact same time. It can be very creepy. I feel as if im falling in love with him. I just don't want to say those three words, and have everything change between us, or to ruin what we have. I feel like if i let myself tell him than everything will fall apart. I know those words change every aspect of a relationship. I think im in love.